I started this when I found out my leukemia came back in 2013 when I was 19. I wanted a place where I could keep everyone updated at once, instead of explaining things over and over to all of my friends who asked. My mom sent out email updates, but in the world of social media and cell phones, I don’t have email addresses for most of my friends and classmates. Even though most of them were on Facebook, I didn’t want to flood news feeds with long, medical posts. I could post a link to my blog updates, and the people who wanted to read it could click it, and that way everything in one place.
I actually don’t remember my exact thought process when I was choosing the name for my blog, but The Worst Best Thing was a phrase I used in my college application essays. One of the questions asked about a person or event who had a big impact on my life so of course I wrote about my first treatment for leukemia. At the time, I hated it. There’s not much to like about almost 3 years of treatment – the poison, hair loss, spinal taps, missing school and losing friends. Just as I was finishing my treatment, one of my middle school classmates was diagnosed with a different type of leukemia. We became friends and she convinced me to go to a camp for kids with cancer with her. My nurses had been trying to convince me to go to camp since I started treatment but I never wanted to go. Cancer was a part of my life that I didn’t want to give any more attention than necessary, but that all changed after Amanda dragged me to Camp Friendship. As I mentioned a few posts ago, I made some friends who encouraged me to also attend Camp Sunrise. A few years later, I was old enough to be a counselor at both. Camp introduced me to a huge group of people who understood what I’d been through and showed me that being sick doesn’t need to be something to be ashamed of. They taught me that life is fragile and that no matter what your struggle, there’s probably someone who understands. Being sick also helped me find who my real friends are. I talked a lot about them in my great friends post – they were the ones who were willing to put in a little extra effort to keep in touch even when I wasn’t in school. As we made our way through the awkward middle school years, I knew I had true friends by my side and I still have them now. I can thank my treatment and camp for my positive attitude. I could cry all day about my situation (and some days I did), but what would that do? I’d be miserable all the time. If I try to find a few positives, I’m much happier. Of course, there’s a balance to stay realistic but finding the positives during treatment, whether that was a nice sunset view from my window or discovering a food I could actually taste, became more of a habit and now I find positives in everyday life situations. I definitely complained a lot more about silly things before my first treatment. In addition to finding positives, I am much more appreciative of my family, my life, and my body. My family supported me every step of the way and never left me alone even though technically I was an adult. Some parents left their toddlers in the hospital alone. Even if I was having a rough day, I was still alive which is a privilege denied to many patients, including some of my friends. Life isn’t something to be taken for granted. My body handled a lot of poison, infections and other stress and even though there are things about my body I might change if I could, I can’t hate it because of all it’s done for me. Cancer opened up a lot of opportunities I wouldn’t have had if I wasn’t sick. I don’t think I’d be going into scientific/medical writing if I had never been sick. I can’t imagine my life without all the friends I’ve made and lessons I’ve learned through this journey. I think it’s shaped me into a better version of myself, and that is why I can say cancer is the worst best thing that ever happened to me.
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AuthorI’m Karen. I was originally diagnosed with Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia (ALL) in August 2004 when I was 10 years old. When I was working on my college and scholarship application essays two years ago, I wrote about my journey. Although it was a rough few years, it became such an influential part of my life that I can’t, and wouldn’t want to, imagine my life without having had cancer. I called it the worst best thing that ever happened to me. Archives
April 2022
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